Dissolving Identity

Who are you?

It’s a question that sounds simple until you actually sit with it.

For me it’s the toughest question. Whenever I try to find an answer, nothing really sticks. A software engineer? No. A college graduate? No. Son of so and so? No. Heavy title at a big company? No.

No matter how hard I try, nothing sticks when I try to answer this question. Can infinity be described in words?

But the question doesn’t stay philosophical for long.

This is quite a problem. When I meet new people — or on the rare occasion I talk to someone who isn’t close — they are always curious about identity. In this age, the amount of wealth associated with you is a big part of identity.

So one easy way to stand out, feel proud, and feel superior to others is to associate more wealth with yourself. You feel good, you appear more confident, and that in turn attracts more people. A positive feedback loop.

I know this because I lived inside that loop.

This is by default the easiest, simplest, most proven method. In college I got an internship that paid more money than I had ever seen in my life. It was huge, and unwillingly my identity got associated with it. It was a big deal in college too, and college was my environment 24/7.

Identity of intern at one of the biggest companies in the world. Conqueror of a huge sum of money. My name and identity came before my own self introduction.

It felt odd, being introduced by a label before I could introduce myself.

The reaction was quite visible. It was awe and respect. Which is intoxicating. It fills the ego with the air it so desires. However, at some level I hated it, so unconsciously I never really spent the money, rubbed it in anyone’s face, or in general talked about anything related to it. Unless someone really asked.

I didn’t understand the discomfort at the time. It took years before it made sense.

I never really contemplated it before, but the identity associated with a company, a position, wealth, a college degree, son of XYZ — it never really fit well for me.

Here I realized that the simple way of associating your identity with past achievement and relative wealth is quite empty. It satisfies your ego. But not the in-depth self that lives within. It cares nothing for such associations, as it is completely independent of references.

So there are two ways to answer the question, and most of us pick one without noticing.

The identity you find for yourself can be on the basis of ego, or on the basis of your in-depth self. When you go on the basis of ego — which looks at the external world to find its place and its reason for existence — it will keep looking outside forever.

If you go with the in-depth self, the unconscious, the shadow, your whole consciousness — then it’s the real journey. It’s harder. You may not even find the answer. Looking inside of you, which is infinite in nature, is work.

No one claps for this path. There is no visible proof you are making progress.

But is there any other way? The ego sense is temporary, an illusion, and based on what other people think — who most likely associate identity with something unreal as well.

And there is a new pressure coming that will force this question on everyone, whether they want it or not.

The tsunami which still hasn’t landed is AI. It compounds the problem of identity. Because it kills the requirement for people at various positions along the economic value chain. Which means many people will lose their identity. Something they learnt, got good at, got respect for — all of that will vanish, and soon people will even forget such a job role ever existed.

The usual identity we see will dissolve. But not really. People will still look at the world through the lens of ego sense. From economic-first identity, it may shift to some other reference. Part of lineage X. From village Y. Father of 2. Owner of 20 cows.

The reference changes, but the mechanism doesn’t. The ego needs something to stand on — it doesn’t care what.

It will still be referential, just not tied to the economic chain as tightly as it is now.

The question of identity boils down to whether you are looking inward or outward. If you look outward, no matter if AI comes or anything else comes, it will always be referential. Your identity tied to some events.

If you look inward you may find that the idea of identity is quite stupid — in which case you will not have an answer for people when they ask “who are you?”

Which sounds like a loss. It isn’t.

However, on the bright side — since it’s not dependent on anyone or anything — many things will stop bothering your peace.